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An old man and a young man work together in an office. The old man
always has a jar of peanuts on his desk, and the young man really loves peanuts.
One day, while the old man is away from his desk, the young man yields
to temptation and scarfs down over half of the contents of the jar. When
the old man returns, the young man feels guilty and confesses to his crime.
"Don't worry, son. I never eat the peanuts anyway," the old man replies, "Since I lost my teeth, all I can do is gum chocolate off the M&M's."
2.) Frightening Picture---no words needed...just look...haha!!!!
3.) This is so mean, but so funny!
Top 10 Party Games for People Over 60
1. Sag! You're it!
2. Pin the toupee on the bald guy.
3. 20 questions shouted in your good ear.
4. Kick the bucket.
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says bend over.
6. Doc, doc, goose.
7. Simon says something incoherent.
8. Musical recliners.
9. Spin the bottle of Mylanta.
10. Hide and go pee!
4. Special Napkins
My mother taught me to read when I was three years old (her first mistake). One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet doors was ajar. I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why she was keeping 'napkins' in the bathroom. Didn't they belong in the kitchen? Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts, told me that those were for "special occasions." Now fast forward a few months....It's Thanksgiving Day, and my folks are leaving to pick up the pastor and his wife for dinner. Mom had assignments for all of us while they were gone. Mine was to set the table. When they returned, the pastor came in first and immediately burst into laughter. Next came his wife who gasped, then began giggling. Next came my father, who roared with laughter. Then came Mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each place setting on the table with a "special occasion" napkin at each plate, with the fork carefully arranged on top. I had even tucked the little tail in so they didn't hang off the edge!! My mother
asked me why I used these and, of course, my response sent the other adults into further fits of laughter. "But, Mom, you SAID they were for special occasions!!!" Take time to laugh; it's the music of the soul. A merry heart doeth good like a medicine, but a broken spirit dirt the bones. Proverbs 17:22
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Yesyouare!
The Amigone family operates several funeral homes
in and around Buffalo, New York.
Photo courtesy of Carmen S. Garrison. |
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Does this mean that the...
Buffalo Bills have won the Super Bowl?
Chicago Cubs have won the World Series?
(Pick your team & the event they'll win when hell freezes over.)
Hell, Michigan. |
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Not everyone likes it that cold!
London area automobile air conditioning business. |
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It's a good deal, but... oh, the college costs!
Roanoke, Virginia. The Babies & Children store's motto is, "Dressing babies and children from head to toe from newborn to preteen." |
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Everything you need for your "shotgun" wedding!
Located in Windsor, Maine. Hussey's slogan is,
"If we don't have it, you don't need it."
Thanks to Jess, a proud resident of Windsor. |
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Let's go. We'll have a ball!
Based on a web search, Testicle Festivals seem
to be most popular in Montana. This photo was
taken by Rob Strain near Omaha, Nebraska. |
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How do you get there from here?
Peekskill, New York. Photo courtesy of Jimmy Requa. |
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I don't think I saw that one. |
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Promoting AUTO-erotism?
Hermosa Beach, California. Photo by Christoph. |
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Little extreme. |
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I think I'll keep driving! |
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If you say so!
In Independence, Missouri. |
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Sometimes a name change is the best idea... |
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Take me to the cleaners, baby!
There are five Balfurd Cleaners locations in Pennsylvania. |
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"CAUTION: CROCODILE
EATING HANDICAPPED
MAN AT BOTTOM OF HILL" |
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Major dilemma in California.
Your choices are College of the Siskiyous or "downtown" Weed. |
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??? McLogic gone wrong... |
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No "Keep Off the Grass" signs here!
In Kansasville, Wisconsin. Named for Maj. Richard I. Bong,
Ace Pilot of WWII, who gave his life for his country. |
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Of all the names to pick...
Bung History: Note that a bunghole is the hole in a cask, keg,
or barrel through which liquid is poured in or drained out. |
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SINGLE, BROWN, KANGAROO, VERY MALE, SEEKS SINGLE, FEMALE KANGAROO TO HOP AROUND, MAKE KANGAROO BABIES AND SHARE GREEN BUSHES. HOBBIES INCLUDE HOPPING, CHEWING ON GREEN STUFF AND HOPPING. AGE NOT IMPORTANT. MUST BE A KANGAROO, ENJOY HOPPING AND GREEN STUFF. SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY. |
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Going Postal?
In Phoenix, Arizona. |
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Leave your soul at the front gate, please.
Near New Hartford, Connecticut. |
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What part of ONLY don't they understand?
In Kansas City, Missouri.
Photo courtesy of Bud Turner. |
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Pork, the one you love?
This was a Sask Pork (The Saskatchewan
Pork Industry) ad campaign in Canada. |
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Enough said... |
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We is educated... |
Okay people, listen up! I'm lookin for ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS JOKES AND STUFF LIKE THIS!!! If you have any, please email them to ssammy325@yahoo.com Please make sure that there are no viruses if you send an attachment. YOU WILL AND CAN BE SUED IF THERE IS A VIRUS PURPOSELY CONTAINED IN THE ATTACHMENT. THE WORK DOES NOT NEED TO BE YOURS, BUT YOU NEED TO SEND WITH THE ATTACHMENT/EMAIL WHOS WORK IT IS OR WHAT SITE YOU HAD GOT IT FROM OTHERWISE IT WILL NOT BE SUBMITTED!
~~~So far!~~~
Greta - Haha! LUV the emailz! M&Mz all the way!
Mom - America! hahaha
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